Feeling Discouraged? God has NOT forgotten.

1 Timothy 4:12 Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

Gosh it is so easy to get discouraged. So easy to think God has forgotten about you. These little spells of discouragement that we encounter are absolutely nothing compared to the greatness God has in store for us. Believe me, I have been through what seem to be some hard times. As I encounter some of what seem to be the lowest times it can seem hard to encourage myself, let alone others. I am only 22 years old and sometimes I feel like all odds are against me. I truly believe as we grow closer to Christ and the more we set out to fully live for Him the more we will be tested. The harder things will seem. But with God on our side we are able to do much more than we could ever even imagine. No matter how old you are or where you are in your walk a few bad days don't equal a bad life at all. The hard times are what make you stronger. They give you something to look back at and realize how God has favored you. They are sweet things that remind us that He is there and always has been.

I posted a post saying on my instagram account the other day, “how bad do you want it” we will encounter hard times. In every stage of our walk, in all of the good there will be a bit of hardship. We must not look at these times as bad but as lessons preparing us for God's best!

Obey – to follow the commands or guidance of; to conform or to comply with.

The importance of obedience of true obedience is something I began to learn at the beginning of this year. I always heard about obedience, my mom always talked about how I must be obedient. We “know” what obedience is… or at least we think we know. Obedience to your parents is definitely important, following the laws of the land is definitely important. Those seem like no brainers right… Being obedient is easy, as long as you make a decision to be obedient… right? Well I thought so too until tested with my obedience to God.

The first test of obedience was when God told me to quit my job towards the end of 2013. Quit my job… WHAT? Oh no, surly I’m tripping. Maybe I’m being lazy, I cant quit my job. Man who doesn’t work doesn’t eat. I can’t be labeled a quitter. What will everyone say? What will my parents think? How will I make it? Will my dad disown me? How will I pay my bills? I struggle while having a job, there is no way in the world I can make it without one.These are all of the things that I thought when faced with if this was something I wanted to do or something God was telling me to do. Jeremiah 42:6 Whether we like it or not, we will obey the LORD our God to whom we are sending you with our plea. For if we obey him, everything will turn out well for us. I often prayed for Gods will to be done in my life, for Him to show me exactly what he wanted for me to do that I may do it but once He started showing me I didn’t think I was ready for it. I had to keep in mind that I am able to do ALL things, not in my own strength but through His strength working inside of me.  I will talk more about my experience of quitting my job and how I knew it needed to be done and the benefits of doing so in a later post.

The second test of obedience was leaving Isaiah 46:3 “Listen to me, descendants of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel.I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. 4 I will be your God throughout your lifetime— until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you. on a co-workers desk. This co-worker didn’t want to live for God in any way. He didn’t think God loved Him and He would express this to me and another co-worker often along with all of the things that He truly enjoyed and the ways He was different and how if God loved him then these things wouldn’t take place. Leaving this scripture on His desk was something I didn’t understand and battled on if I should do; however, I did it. I wasn’t sure if he would respond well, if he would report me to HR, if he would retaliate in any way at all but I trusted God in telling me to do so. A few days later I received a text from a friend of mine, another co-worker telling me that the guy really enjoyed the scripture and that He believes it was true. This may not be big to you but it blew my mind. His heart was so far from Christ and to know that reading that scripture and my obedience led to him seeing it and believing it completely blew my mind. A few months after that I found out that he went to church and let go of all of his past hurts and was going to try and fully live his life for Christ.

I have been tested in the area of obedience a few times after that but these are most important because in being obedient in both of these areas God has been able to completely blow my mind with how much He loves me and how much He is willing and able to do for those who love Him. We read about how much God did for His people but not until seeing it in my life did it really hit home for me. Sometimes we may feel like we have fallen short in areas of our life so to be obedient and/or be bold about what God is telling us seems hard or not exactly right. In moments where God is directing us we must not look at our current situation and think we aren't able to follow instruction. God knows what He is doing and it may be the small act of obedience that pushes you towards coming out of whatever you're in and probably shouldn't be in. Afterall, is thinking that you're not worthy and being obedient anyway worse than not thinking you're worthy and being disobedient on top of that. How will God ever use you with that mindset? Surrender all. Allow God to use you!

Some of the things that helped me in being obedient were the fact that if I wasn’t obedient I was afraid of what would happen to me. When God gives us the ability to do something, or instruction it is not always just for us, it is often times for others. When we get so tied up in how it benefits ourselves opposed to God’s children, our brothers and sisters in Christ we end up missing it. Sometimes I catch myself being selfish and prior to writing this blog I was in a very selfish state of mind. Having a hard time with the cards I had been dealt. In this moment it was pressed on my heart to write, and out of doing so came this blog (I feel so much better). The second thing that assisted in me being obedient was reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, he states that delayed obedience is still disobedience. After reading that my heart broke, I never wanted to be disobedient to my parents, there was no way I could live with being disobedient to God. Even delaying my obedience could mean I was being disobedient. Oh no, that definitely is in the back of my head when I hear God's instruction. Sure, I fall short. Sure, I question if its God or not, but in these moments I simply take it to Him. If I am worried about what I am praying about my instruction from God is delayed and then whatever I was supposed to do in obedience becomes even stronger and seems to weigh me down. I don’t like experiencing that, so I am trying to get better and trust Him all the way through being obedient as soon as He directs me to and not later. Once upon a time I prayed hard for faith like Abraham, I can honestly say that I have been tested in both faith and obedience. It definitely takes faith in order to be obedient. When you are obedient to Christ you have to lay down your own desires trusting that God's plan is greater than your own. Trusting that He knows just what you want and need and exactly what you need to experience before having it that you may cherish it. When you are feeling low remember that God does things out of love, we are not being punished. We cherish love, but we must remember that God Is Love! (1 John 4:8)

#HaveYouDiedLately

We are Gods children, He cherishes us, He loves us. We must not lose hope or get discouraged for He is with us. These are words of encouragement from me to you because I would be lying if I said I don’t get discouraged also. When it seems like the entire world is against you remember that your creator will always be for you. When it seems like everyone else is doing so much better than you, DON’T GIVE UP! You never know who is depending on you, keep Gods word close to your heart you will need it when you feel like nothing else is worth it.  1 John 3:16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. Stay encouraged brother and sister. Remembering how much it's worth.

Real Life: I BlamED My Parents

In my openness I hope to bless you, I hope to show you that no matter where you come from or what you have been through there is always a way out with God. I trust and believe that God can mend and transform a broken heart. The ways in which you are broken may be different than my ways but God is able to renew US completely. I hope to share what he has done for me as encouragement for you.

Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

Growing up it was always hard for me to ask my parents for anything because they would get frustrated with each other and tell me about it, or tell me to relay a message to the other person. Usually the message was about something they had a problem with or a question that insinuated there was a problem. As a result, I began to feel like I wasn’t worthy. Like I didn’t deserve anything they had to give me. Like I was a mistake and didn’t belong. Do I blame them? No, I can’t. For a long time though, I did. I thought how on earth can these people be my parents and not realize how much they are hurting me with their words, their actions.

My parents did so much to make sure that I was taken care of. Watching my mom work multiple jobs hurt as a child because honestly I was selfish, stubborn, spoiled and insecure. I often wondered why my mom would rather work than spend time with me. I didn’t always think this but there were definitely times when this thought crossed my mind. As I grew older I realized that she was just doing everything in her power to provide for me, our family. 1 Timothy 5:8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers. Anyone who she is able to help she helps no matter how hard it was on her. She has such a giving spirit she can’t help but to help everyone else. Of course she is human so sometimes when life got to be too much or she was stretched too thin she would become angry with everyone around her, mainly me. In these times she was just trying to balance her emotions and the older I get the more I understand. Was it right? No! But she is human and we all make mistakes, mistakes in which we must learn from.

My father made sure to teach me things I would need to make it in this world. He broke me, he let me go without, he put me in situations that to me seemed so hard but he would never put me in a difficult situation where he was unable to save me or pull me out of it. I remember when I was about 12 or 13 and thought that I was afraid of dogs but I wanted to have dogs (confusing right). Anyway, we had a dog and once he got so big I didn’t want to mess with him, feed him, none of that. My dad called me outside and made me put my hand in the dog’s mouth. I was terrified and didn’t understand why a father would do his baby girl like that…of course it was to show me that I was fearful of nothing. My dog wanted nothing more than to love me and play with me. I didn’t understand that for so long, I just thought “my father is crazy”. Ephesians 6:4 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Also, as I grew older the things my dad gave me slowly became less and less. He was trying to teach me to make it on my own. Winging me off of depending on him and teaching me to ask for the things that I want in life. I still have not fully mastered this because with all that went on with my parents I developed the mentality that if I want something I will simply go out and get it myself or I don’t need it. Of course there are some things that I need my parents wisdom and help in doing and they are always there but it has to be HUGE and beyond my ability in order for me to go to them. Is this pride or is it just not wanting my parents to suffer because of me? Perhaps a little of both #heartcheck.  

Not until here lately am I able to realize that this was all for a reason. I have been feeling like nothing is working out and nothing is getting taken care of and like it is impossible for me to go out and just get what I want, I am struggling a bit getting a job and I have never not had a job. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the concept of not working. Of not having money, of not being able to pay my bills, none of it makes sense. My parents taught me things that would be beneficial during my walk with Christ but opposed to looking for the lessons I looked at all the negative, unsure of how their actions could be a lesson. Naïve to the idea of parenting; Proverbs 22:6 KJV Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. My mother was showing me how to love, and how a woman will go to any lengths to provide for her family. It took me depending on her and trusting that she would provide for me, in the same sense I have to transfer these skills towards my relationship with my heavenly father, depending on Him wholeheartedly. My father was teaching me to ask for things my heavenly father is teaching me to do the same. I AM NOTHING WITHOUT CHRIST!

John 15:5 “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.” Time spent with God, praying to Him, casting all of your cares onto Him is time well spent! No one is able to fill your voids, not even YOU. God will heal you, He will help you, He is your strength. God has helped me dig deep down and find the things that hurt me, the things that were hindering my growth and breakthrough. There are multiple seasons of our life where we will learn new lessons. Be open to learning them! We should never be too PROUD to go to our heavenly father and seek direction. He is here to help and guide us. We must be consistent in our walk. Never giving up, never wavering. Read Matthew 7:7 “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” The process of getting over thinking that my parents didn't love me but wanted the best for me was very long and drawn out but with God on my side I have been able to overcome this insecurity. I will talk more about this in future blog posts.

Be patient as God unlocks doors for you (I am also speaking to myself). The road will not always be easy by any means but it is definitely worth it. Just because things get tough does NOT mean we should give up.

2 Corinthians 12:9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.